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The End Is Nigh?

Hey there, it’s been a while. You look great! Did you change your hair? Those shoes are adorable on you.

You may have noticed I’ve been taking a break from blogging, I’ve been focusing more on my University work, haven’t really had time to update.  The other day however, I saw something that forced me into action, enjoy…

Whilst driving around Sydney recently, you may have noticed some curious billboards with slogans along the lines of “The world will end on May 21st! The Bible guarantees it!”

The dramatic billboards also feature the address of the website for “Family Radio,” A Christian radio religious broadcasting network in the United States, founded in 1959 by Richard Palmquist, Lloyd Lindquist, and Harold Camping.

Harold Camping is the man behind the May 21st predictions, he says that May 21st will be the date of the return of Christ and around 200 million people (approximately 3% of the world’s population) will be raptured, with the remaining 97 % of the world left to suffer in agony for 150 days.

He claims that he has come to this exact date through a series of mathematical equations as well as through “signs” he says have appeared as predicted by the bible.

Mr Camping is the leader of the group that some have labelled a cult. Members of the group have so much faith in the prediction that they’ve put up billboards and they’ve handed out fliers. Some of them have even burned through all of their savings, so convinced are they that the world is going to end on May 21 and they’ll no longer need it.

Just how accurate are Harold Camping’s predictions? Camping made similar claims of the apocalypse back in 1993 saying that the world would end the following year, even releasing a book on the subject. When 1994 rolled around a red-faced Camping had to back pedal pretty hard, eventually saying that his calculations had been done incorrectly.

Mr Camping reminds me of those kids you knew in primary school, you know the ones, the children who made outrageous claims that they could fly by jumping off a roof only to turn around when someone challenges their claims and say that they can only do it when no one else is watching them.

How is it that so many people are still clinging onto the preachings of a man who has already proved once that he’s full of shit?

I think that people who join cults like these do it so that they can remove all personal responsibility from their lives. There must be great comfort in the notion that they no longer have to think or act for themselves, that one man makes all of there decisions for them. I believe that people chose this kind of brain washing enslavement because in a weird way being powerless makes them feel free.

While that sense of freedom might feel good now it is going to be a very short-lived experience, the followers who are now preparing for the end of days are going to be in for a rude shock come May 21st.  They’re not going to feel very good when the world doesn’t end and they’ve destroyed their entire lives in the process of preparing for the rapture.

It may seem like this movement and their leader could be dismissed as harmless eccentrics, but make no mistake, people like Harold Camping should be treated like dangerous extremists. We should not ever forget what happened in Jonestown. In 1978 Jim Jones led the member’s of his cult the “People’s Temple” into a mass murder/suicide .

A total of 909 Temple members died in Jonestown, all but two from apparent cyanide poisoning, in an event termed “revolutionary suicide” by Jones and some members on an audio tape of the event and in prior discussions. The poisonings in Jonestown followed the murder of five others by Temple members at a nearby Port Kaituma airstrip. The victims included Congressman Leo Ryan, the first member of Congress assassinated in the line of duty in the history of the United States. Four other Temple members died in Georgetown at Jones’s command.

There are numerous similarities between Camping and Jones, both follow the pattern of progressive revelation through “one man”, date-settings and predictions of annihilation, all designed to isolate and alienate people into following them blindly.

The disciples of Harold Camping believe that they are following the will of god, they are not. They are following the will of  one flawed human being and one can only hope that these people are able to free themselves before it is too late.

What will you be doing come May 21st?

I’ll probably just be hanging out with some friends, maybe drinking a few beers, and toasting to the fact that my life is not ruled by one insane old man.

Have a good one folks!

Australia Day is almost upon us, and we all know what that means; it’s time for all of the flag wearing, southern cross tattooed, drunken morons to come crawling out of the woodwork to show off their “Aussie Pride.” 

Before we get started here,  let me say, I’m not against having pride in one’s country. Without some form of national pride I don’t think a country can really survive. What I am concerned about is the way that many people chose to express that pride; through public displays aimed to exclude those that they deem to be “Un-Australian” whether or not they really are. 

Just what is Australia Day all about?

Australia Day is a celebration of the arrival of the first fleet in Australia on the 26th of January 1788. The  British colonizers stepped ashore, planted the Union Jack  illegally (even by the laws of
Britain) and claimed this land. They based the invasion and occupation on a legal lie, “terra nullius” (or “empty land” meaning the land was unoccupied), and such was the beginnings of our nation.
It has been pointed out that if Australia Day was really a celebration of our nation it would commemorate federation in 1901. Many people prefer therefore to refer to the 26th of January as Invasion Day – to draw attention to what is actually being ‘celebrated’ on 26th January. Australia Day might be about barbecues and that extra day to have off to drink or nurse your hangover, but it is not without its controversial roots.

“Patriotism is loving your country, nationalism is hating everyone else’s”

Australia Day has become bastardized over the years, it has gone from a public holiday which many weren’t particularly even aware of in the eighties to an over the top affair involving bizarre rituals such as face painting, flag wearing and temporary (or permanent) tattoos of an australian theme.  These displays and the attitude of these people often makes others feel excluded and segregated. The best example of “Aussie pride” gone wrong occurred on December 11th 2005, the infamous Cronulla riots.

 On 4 December 2005, a group of volunteer surf lifesavers were assaulted by a group of young men of Middle Eastern appearance, with several other violent assaults occurring over the next week. These incidents were widely reported and commented on in Sydney media. An initially peaceful crowd gathered in the morning of 11 December 2005 and by midday, approximately 5,000 people gathered at Cronulla beach to protest against a recent spate of violence against locals. Fuelled by alcohol, the crowd turned to violence when a young man of “Middle Eastern appearance”  was spotted on the beach. He was surrounded by a crowd outside a local hotel and attacked.
.
  and the mob sang Waltzing Matilda
 
 Retaliatory riots also took place that night and on subsequent nights, resulting in extensive property damage and several more assaults, including one stabbing and even some attacks against ambulance and police officers. The riots made Australia look pretty bad for quite a while, with several countries issuing travel warnings to potential tourists.
You only have to look at the many horrible images from that day to realize that these people have nothing to feel proud about, this display was disgusting and terrifying.
Since the riots, symbols like the southern cross tattoo have taken on a more sinister meaning to me. If I spot someone with a southern cross tattoo I will more than likely assume them to be a racist. The southern cross seems to be the swastika for the new generation, such are the effects of the riots on Australian culture.
Looking at the above photo there can be no doubt that man evolved from apes, and these gentlemen clearly still have some evolving to do.
  

 

I’m Proud

I am still proud of my country, proud even though same sex couples still don’t have the same rights at heterosexuals, the problems of the indigionous people of this country are still rather awkwardly avoided and ignored, and people with different cultural backgrounds can sometimes be made to feel like they don’t belong. I am proud of my country. I am proud of our diversity, of the way that we evolve and change together and I’m proud of the way we can pull together through adversity. Am I going to pull a flag around my shoulders and chant “Aussie Aussie Aussie!” next week? Not quite.

 I didn’t choose to be born in this country, I just was, I could just have easily been born in Germany or China, the luck of the draw said I ended up here. My country right or wrong? No freaking way, if I feel my country is going in a bad direction I’ll speak up, as should you.

There is one good thing coming from Australia Day this year, and that is that many Australian’s will be joining together to raise money for the flood victims in Queensland, this is the right way to express pride in ones country, by working towards making it better.

Have an awesome Australia day bitches, try not to act like a dickhead.

 
 
 
 

 

I have never been a fan of Christmas, I’m not going to give you all the usual bullshit reasons why I don’t like this holiday. It’s not because it’s too commercial, if anything it’s not commercial enough! Give me more commercialism, at least that’s entertaining. No I hate it for so many, many reasons. For your consideration I’ve compiled a little list of the five things that annoy me most during the holiday season, enjoy!

Forced Merriment

I’m not opposed to merriment per say; I’ve been merry in the past. I’ve been both jolly and holly if you can imagine it (and if you can imagine what that is supposed to mean). I’m only opposed to merriment when it is forced upon you by the general population. There is nothing less joy inducing than some chubby bitch from your office trying to insist on over decorating and handing out santa hats. Santa hats are a particular pet peeve of mine, I worked in retail for many years and was forced yearly to wear christmas themed garbage such as santa hats and elf ears while I served customers; you have to love grumpy retail assistants working for minimum wage trussed up like christmas whores. I eventually put a stop to this by pretending to be jewish year after year.

People Singing Awkwardly Together In Public

Most people can’t sing, and most people are aware of this and are fairly uncomfortable bursting into song in public. This time of year however puts pressure on these very same people to stand together and sing antiquated and lame Christmas songs in public. The awkwardness in the air is always electric and rubs off onto the people watching the other people sing and this leads to widespread awkwardness. Even worse than the awkward forced singers are the over enthusiastic in love with themselves attention seekers. These people will pull out any excuse to sing in public and at christmas they are given ample opportunities to exploit. They’ll be on that karaoke stage singing the dickhead christmas anthem (Mariah Carey “All I Want For Christmas Is You”) and you might not have though it was possible, but they’ll manage to over-sing it worse than the diva herself. Beware this holiday season, and stay away from all jukebox’s to ensure your christmas stays Mariah free.

Gift Wrapping

I’m going to try to avoid doing a ten page rant here, but gift wrapping is the worst fucking thing in the world.  As a woman there are certain things that I am expected to be able to do. I’m expected to be able to cook (meh almost), clean (not at all) and for some reason I’m expected to be able to produce beautifully wrapped and individually styled presents in the style of Martha Stewart every Christmas. Every year I am proved to be a failure as a women when I produce a gift that is wrapped too tightly in some areas, not enough in others and is covered in weird bits of tape. I really try, and I really, really fail. I don’t really see the point in getting stressed out over how some expensive paper is placed over a gift. Humans are odd creatures with these strange rituals, you would never see a squirrel attempting to wrap decorative leaves in a decorative manner around an acorn. I quit! No more gift wrapping for Nina.

Fruit Cake

This one seems kind of obvious. Nobody likes fruit cake, fruit cake is only ever bought this time of year. It is given as gifts or put out on tables for Christmas day, but you’ll never actually see anyone eating it. Fruit cake will sit in your cupboard until around October when it is finally thrown out before being replaced with yet another fruit cake come December. Fruit Cake is yet another pointless ritual that we keep up  despite it making no sense.

Greed and Gluttony Just For The Hell Of It

I am fortunate enough to live in a country where food is abundant and life is comfortable. Never is this more apparent than around Christmas when families all across the country begin stock piling enough food to feed a small army for their family Christmas lunch. You go to lunch, you eat until you’re full and then for some reason, you eat more. I don’t want to get too preachy here as my name is not Nina Bono Theresa, but you only need to look at this logically to see that it’s pretty gross.

We pile our plates high with food we don’t need or want and throw the leftovers in the bin while other people starve. Humans, we’re a nice bunch aren’t we? Check out this link that shows how much families around the world spend on food in a week, interesting stuff.

That’s it my little Christmas angels! Go out and spread good cheer, don’t stress too much, it’ll all be over soon. 

All I want for Christmas… Is you.

 

Kris Kringle, Secret Santa, call it what you like, I call it a pain in the arse. For those few of you lucky enough to have somehow missed out on this traditional holiday torture, allow me to explain how it works. Secret Santa is usually run for large groups of people such as in the workplace or for extended family. The basic concept of the Secret Santa game is simple. All of the participants’ names are placed into a hat, box, etc. and mixed up. Each person then chooses one name from the box, but doesn’t tell anyone which name was picked. He/she is now responsible for buying a gift for the person selected, there is usually a limit to how much you can spend, usually $10 or $20 and that’s about it. Sounds fun right? Sounds simple?

Wrong! Oh how wrong you are.

This seemingly fun activity is actually a very dangerous social minefield, beware, watch your step.
Use this guide to get through unscathed. Let’s begin:

The Beginning: Picking that random person from the hat

Picking the name from the hat is really the most important step because who you pick here is going to determine just how difficult this process really has to be. My advice here is, try to cheat. If there is any possible way you can turn the odds in your favour, do it. If at all possible try to sneak a peek at the name before you pick it. Call me a Scrooge for taking the “fun” out of things, but trust me when you pull out the name of a coworker you’ve only spoken to once in your life and who seems difficult to read, you’re going to wish you had cheated.

When you pick, make sure you smile and nod and say appropriately nice things about how happy you are to have picked this person. If you pull out a name look at it and say “Oh jesus not this wanker!”  then I guarantee that person is going to hear about your reaction eventually. Smile, nod and swear privately to yourself later.

The Process: How To Know What To Buy: Bath Soaps and Candles

Knowing what to buy for your Secret Santa recipient is probably the hardest and most frustrating part of the process.  If you’ve picked someone you know pretty well then you probably have a good idea of what to buy, if you didn’t,  well…  it sucks to be you. Firstly, let’s look at what your price restrictions are, what are you allowed to spend? $5? $10? $15? It all makes a big difference, here’s a hint though, spent $5 to $10 more than the limit, it’ll stop you looking cheap, and everyone else will probably be doing the same thing.

If you have to buy something for someone you know nothing about, don’t immediately go for the thoughtless candle/soap/chocolate/wine option, it’s lazy and it’s been done to death darling. Use your serial killer style stalking skills to find out more about them.

(note: I do not mean that you should break into their home and molest their cat)

Walk by their desk, take notice of what might be on it, is that a Justin Bieber CD? My they have horrible taste, but perhaps they would like a nice poster to go with that CD. Is that a copy of the alcoholic’s anonymous book? Aren’t you glad you didn’t buy them that wine?  Likewise, notice what they wear, what tv shows and movies they talk about, what video games they might mention any of these clues may guide you towards a semi-thoughtful gift idea, just don’t be to creepy in your lurking or you may end up with a restraining order.

Don’t give an inappropriate gift, save the penis straws for your real friends, the rule of thumb here should be if you don’t know this person well enough to sit down and have coffee together outside of work, then you don’t know them well enough to give them a box of chocolates shaped like breasts.

If you really want to be a lazy little bunny, go with the voucher option, let them pick their own gift, but definitely no candles or soap. Not ever. Giving someone soap just makes them think that you are questioning their personal hygiene.

The most important hing is to remember to buy something. The worst possible thing you can do in Kris Kringle is forget to buy a gift, and if for some stupid reason you do forget, just hand over some cash, do not, under any circumstances attempt to pull something out of the glove box of your car and try to pass it off as a gift. No one will buy it.

The End: Looking Gracious And Practising Your Fake Smile

So you’ve made it, you’ve bought your gift and put it in the communal pile and now this nightmarish tradition is over right? Not so fast my friend, you forgot the other half of this evil game, you forgot that some other poor schmuck pulled your name from that hat. Some other person has been stressing and figuring out what to buy for you. Traditionally secret santa gifts are opened in a communal setting, everyone sitting together and watching each other open their gifts. So watch out because when you open that gift, you had better smile, and you had better make it convincing, and believe me that may be difficult. Here’s a few scenarios you may have to face “Oh my! A christian wall hanging! Why… I’ve always wanted a reminder that jesus died for my sins, how swell!”

Or how about “Gee! A weight watchers book, how thoughtful of you to remind me that I need to lose a few kilos, how charming!”  You need to be prepared for the worst here people, and you need to be prepared to act your arse off. If you open your gift and the disgust registers on your face, you’re going to hurt some poor morons feelings, you wouldn’t be happy if they opened your gift and said “Oh great! I’m allergic to dairy so this milkshake maker is the perfect gift jackass!” Just keep smiling, keep pretending and this whole horrible charade will be over for another year.

I know it’s been said, many times, in many ways, but my god Christmas blows.

There has finally been a step in the right direction in the battle against the PowerBalance company. The three of you who read my blog on a regular basis will no doubt be aware that I hate Powerbalance. I hate them and everything they stand for, I hate the people who make it, I hate the people who promote it and I hate the part of people’s minds that fools them into believing a piece of rubber is having a therapeutic effect on them simply because it was expensive and has a small hologram on it. I am so happy there has been some progress made in getting rid of this stupidity once and for all.

The makers of the Power Balance wristbands have admitted overstating their claims of the product’s therapeutic benefits after the Therapeutic Products Advertising Complaints Resolution Panel (CRP) ordered advertising of the product to be retracted.The CRP found Power Balance Australia to be in breach of the therapeutic goods advertising law.

This excerpt is from The Age website from the 21.11.10:

“The complaints panel found Power Balance should not have published an advertisement for the wristbands on its website which unlawfully made claims … about the body’s ‘electric balance’ and improving ‘synaptic response’, brain function, muscle response, stamina, oxygen uptake, recovery, flexibility and ‘gravitational balance’ ”. The panel said Power Balance ”provided no evidence to support any of the claims … and no indication that such evidence exists”. In response, Power Balance acknowledged it had breached the code. ”Since the time of the complaint, the relevant claims had been removed from the website,” the company said.

Soon after this ruling a “corrective advertisement” appeared on the Powerbalance website, apologizing and offering upset parties a full refund, however between me reading it this morning and me copying it for you to see here this afternoon the bastards removed it! Their honesty only lasted moments, I will continue to attempt to find a copy of their statement but until then, here is the guidelines which they were asked to follow by the CRP when writing their advertising retraction:

 

 

Oh Powerbalance, you’re going down.

For those of you who are going to miss your shiny magic bands why not buy one of these adorable Placebo bands?  They’re just as shiny and they’ll do pretty much the same thing.

 

It’s beginning to look a lot like christmas boys and girls, and you know what that means? It means that we’re all entering the potentially awkward and humiliating (not to mention frustrating and rage inducing) time known as the festive season.  Now my children, gather round, don’t be scared, I have you covered. This is the first part of my christmas survival guide trilogy and today we are going to look at:

“How To Survive Your Office Party, Lawsuit Free And With Your Dignity Intact”

This year Publicist, Kristy Fraser-Kirk, sued David Jones for $37 million accusing the department store’s chief executive, Mark McInnes, of unwanted sexual advances at a work Christmas event. This event has caused many workplaces to consider cancelling their christmas parties this year so as not to risk a similar legal problem.

Indeed office parties worldwide have often been a source of scandal and problems of a litigious nature, let’s take Linda Hunt, an Ontario woman who got drunk at an office party and crashed her car. She successfully sued her employer for allowing her to drive — even though her company offered a cab ride or accommodation if she gave up her keys.

Now these two events may be on the extreme end of things, but we all know that work parties are always fraught with peril. Here are some steps towards making it a safer (and duller) experience:

Step One: Don’t Be “That Guy”

“One of the guys from accounting in a large corporation was very, very drunk at the Christmas party. He decided to relieve himself on the burning logs in the fireplace. Bad choice. Within a short time following that party, there was one less guy in accounting.” – Excerpt from an Office Party Bloopers website

There is always one, one of your co workers will always drink too much, too quickly and make a complete moron of themselves, this might seem like obvious advise but I think: “try to avoid being that guy” needs to be said. Now I’m not saying don’t drink, (because god knows you’re not going to get through this hideously dull evening sober) I’m just saying that you need to know your limits. If you find yourself ranting at your boss about how much you hate your job, it might be time to put down that drink. Remember that you have got to work with these people and even though the christmas party might seem like an amnesty from mockery, it isn’t, if you make a fool of yourself you can expect to be the butt of the joke to your coworkers until at least the end of january. similarly if you aren’t “That guy” but someone else is, don’t encourage them. It may seem extremely amusing at the time to cheer them on while they put that lampshade on their heads but eventually that person is going to sober up. They are probably going to be embarrassed by their behaviour and if they have any memory of your encouraging them towards the dark side, they are probably going to take it out on you.

 

Step Two: Keep It In Your Pants

Research shows that one in four people hook up with someone at the office Christmas party, which is great if your company doesn’t frown on such things, you’re both single – and the person in question isn’t your boss!-  Netdoctor.com.au

Maybe you’ve always fancied them but never had the courage to do anything about it until the alcohol steeled your nerves. Maybe you never actually liked them but hey, you’re drunk and they look nice, either way it’s a seriously bad idea. The television show “The Office” suggests that office romances could lead you to a fairytale wedding, more likely that drunken fumble in the supply closet is going to lead to a very awkward work environment and a potential sexual harassment suit. Always remember what may seem extremely romantic through your champagne eyes may look extremely different in the light of day.  Keep in mind too if you do go for a drunken fumble that the eyes of your coworkers will be on you, keep your bedroom antics in the bedroom, actually that’s just good advice for all occasions, nobody wants to see you practically humping your partner on the train, eeeeew.

Step Three: Avoid The Boss

Ok visual gags aside, this is a very important piece of advice. Stay the hell away from your boss while you are drinking! You may have a good relationship with your boss or you may not, it doesn’t matter every single person has some spleen venting to do about their workplace and I think you’ll find that the office party is the wrong place to do it. Here is a very basic rule to follow should you find yourself stuck talking to your boss: before you speak, think to yourself “Would I say this if I weren’t drunk” now really think about it, give it more than 10 seconds thought, if the answer is no then STFU.

 

 

Step Four: Avoid Being Sucked Into The Office Politics

 

Sarah in accounting is totally mad at Fred from the sales department because he borrowed her DVD and when he returned it, it was scratched. Jane and Nicole haven’t spoken in two weeks because Jane said Nicole’s shirt was “so eighties.”  Michelle and Greg both think the other is trying to make them look bad in front of the boss (they both are.) Did you find these stories interesting? Of course not, they are completely fucking dull and yet this is the banality that we let slip into our work lives on a daily basis, some people even actively seek it out. I understand that it can be hard to stay uninvolved in these fascinating situations but it’s important that you don’t allow them to take over the office party. If you are involved when one of these situations takes a booze fuelled turn for the worse you can expect to be comforting messy drunk crying women  and aggressive dudes for the majority of the evening, beware.

Step Five: Dress For Success (Not For A Brothel, Unless You Work In A Brothel In Which Case I Guess It Would Be Appropriate)

 

This is another very simple step which some people seem to have trouble with.  As amusing as it may seem a mistletoe belt is never appropriate attire (it’s just tacky). Neither is your “Fuck you very much” T-shirt. Basically think about what you’re wearing, this party may be outside of work hours but don’t be under any illusions, rules still do apply. If you’re a woman you won’t be doing yourself any favours if you wear an outfit that would make Lady GaGa blush. Women have enough trouble gaining respect in the workplace without having to deal with the judgement of others, save it for the clubs ladies, save it for when it will be properly appreciated.

 

So now that we’ve reviewed the basic rules to get you safely through your party you may be wondering, “Is it worth it?” could any social event be worth this much stress? Well according to 90% of the work etiquette websites that I read through in my research, the worst thing you can do for a work party is not to attend. Not attending will make you look snobby and will make you appear to not be a team player. So there you have it, it’s going to suck, and you have no choice but to attend. Good luck little munchkins, let me know how it goes!

The 2010 Shonky Awards

I have to admit, I’m sitting here feeling a little bit smug this morning. As my many avid readers (hi Mum!)  are probably aware my very first blog post was about the Power Balance Band.  I was so enraged by the stupidity of the useless rubber arm band that I was spurred into action (well my nerdy version of action).

So it was with great pleasure that I read the news that Power Balance Bands have been awarded a Shonky award for 2010 by CHOICE a leading consumer advocate group in Australia.

For those of you unfamiliar with the band it is a silicone band that comes in various colours that has a useless hologram sticker stuck in it, oh wait, no, sorry it’s a  “Mylar hologram designed to react with the body s natural energy flow.”

When worn Power Balance claims that these bands will increase your, strength, agility and balance, magic!  Of course the company has a whole bunch of incomprehensible pseudo-science jargon to back up their claims, but basically, it’s bullshit.

The CHOICE Shonky Awards are given out annually to deserving crap products and this was what they had to say about Power Balance making the list:

“We CHOICE sceptics did our own testing under controlled laboratory conditions – after all, you can’t believe everything you see on TV – and verified the Skeptics’ findings. The money-back guarantee, however, did work. The only power this bracelet seems to have, placebo effect notwithstanding, is in tipping its distributor’s bank balance well and truly into the black – they’re reportedly raking it in. So, if a fool and his money are soon parted, there are apparently plenty of fools out there – and they’re all conveniently identified with a rubber band bracelet. If you see one, offer to sell them a bridge.”

Well said CHOICE, well said. So even though this obviously crap product has been proven yet again to be a fake, people still aren’t willing to admit they’ve been had, this is an excerpt from the Telegraph today as quoted from Andrew Wood, a personal trainer and triathlete from Sydney, who had worn one of the bands for months:

 “I don’t put it on thinking I’m Samson and take it off and think all my power is gone … but you do start getting attached to it so I probably will keep wearing it. I’m less taken by all the hype around its energy systems.”

Less taken in?! Jesus, there is no helping some people, as CHOICE said, at least now they are identifiable by their little bracelets.

Coles “$10 meal” promotion with Curtis Stone also received an award. The premise of the promotion is that you could follow the special recipes handed out at Coles and make a gourmet meal to feed up to four people for less than $10. CHOICE found this to not be the complete truth, unless  you happen to have some of the stuff in your pantry already and you manage to convince Coles to let you buy two cloves of garlic or one bay leaf. CHOICE calculated Curtis’ $7.76 Coq au vin would cost $37.74 if you bought all the necessary ingredients – including the integral half-litre of vin, which somehow wasn’t included in the $7.76 (though you’d perhaps hope not for that price). And it wasn’t just that recipe – the $9.99 Chicken Tikka Masala would set you back $39.74.

Also in the CHOICE line of fire was Nurofen, and more specifically it’s targeted pain relief tablets (neck, back etc) that contain identical ingredients to regular Nurofen pain relief tablets and yet cost more money. Bravo Nurofen, even I fell for that one. I’m the kind of moron who says “My back hurts, give me some back pain relief! No damn it! I said back not shoulders!”

Hmmm maybe I’ve been to harsh on the Power Balance victims, everyone gets taken in by some scam or another. The important thing to do now is to cut your losses, admit defeat, take off the fucking band!

O.k. you got scammed, and it doesn’t feel nice. Nobody likes looking silly, but you’re going to look a lot more silly if you keep clinging to the bands and defending them in the face of all the logical evidence. if you want some dignity back, I would suggest you find some other Power Balance victims and have yourself a little lawsuit. Unfortunately history has shown time and time again that even though the emporer has no clothes everyone would rather pretend he does than admit that they’ve been fooled.