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Archive for July, 2010

Gather Round Children, It’s Time For A Lesson In Facebook Etiquette

In days gone by there were strict rules on how to conduct yourself in day-to-day life. There were rules on telephone etiquette, dinner etiquette, just about anything you could think of had strict social do’s and don’ts. These days we are left to our own devices and the results of this self-governing  are not always good.  Indulge me now, as I have come up with a simple social etiquette guide for Facebook.

Just because you’re in love, doesn’t mean we want to hear about it.

So you’ve met Mr/Miss right? Well congratulations my friend, we are all really happy for you. When you change that relationship status you can expect many well wishers to comment and express how happy they are for you. That’s lovely. If, however, you decide to bombard your friends with syrupy status updates about how much you “wuv” your little “Bubby” you should not be surprised when these well wishers start to disappear along with half of your friends list. Keep your pet names to yourself, and more importantly keep your physical relationship in the bedroom, there is nothing more off-putting than reading about other people’s sex lives on their status updates.

IF U R OVA THA AGE OF 12, DONT TYPE LYKE DIS.

If you choose to write like an illiterate moron you will be treated as such. enough said.

Just because you’re not in love anymore doesn’t mean we want to hear about it.

So Mr/Miss Right turned out wrong, oh well, that sucks. It’s always a little embarrassing changing that relationship status knowing that plastered all over everyone’s news feed is “insert name is now single” well, unfortunately it happens, and the best thing you can do is suck it up, move on and handle the situation gracefully.  The worst thing you can do is trash your Ex in your status updates, no one needs to know that he’s “scum” or that he tried to sleep with your sister. That stuff is private, don’t put it into the public domain. Another common mistake people make is the over changing of the relationship status. If you’re in a relationship and you want to put that as your status, good for you. If you break up and you then want to change that status, ok, do it. What you shouldn’t do is change it hourly while you are in the midst of a fight with your partner, that just makes you look immature and irritates your friends.

Keep your squabbles to yourself.

Your best friend borrowed your favourite shirt and lost it? What a bitch, I’m with you, give that girl a slap. Your bro owes you money and he’s just bought himself a new watch? Show that jerk whose boss! What you shouldn’t do, if you value your dignity is write about it on Facebook. Those horrible status updates where you are writing about someone without mentioning names are the worst. They make you look petty and all they serve to do is get the gossiping girls talking. If you’re pissed off at a friend, call them, talk to them in person and express your annoyance, at the very least, send them an email. Don’t involve everyone else.

Keep it appropriate

If you’ve got your boss on your friends list maybe photos of you chugging beers aren’t the best idea. If your elderly relatives might be offended by some of your antics, either keep them to yourself or make them private from particular people.

Get over high school

There is nothing sadder than someone adding people on Facebook only to start harassing them about high school. Getting bullied in high school sucks, but you know what? That was a long time ago. Move on, chances are everyone else has and you’ll just make yourself look pathetic if you’re still holding on to old grudges.

Keep your clothes on

Does the world really need to see you slutting it up in your underwear? Probably not. Are you actually attractive enough to be exposing yourself in such a way? Honestly? Probably not. Keep your boudoir pics in the boudoir.

Stop poking me.

I’m over the poke people. I never really understood what it’s function was. If you poked me in real life I would find it annoying, if you cyber poke me I respond in the same way.

Be kind when you’re tagging photos

We’ve all done it, tagged people in photos that we would never like ourselves to be tagged in. Horrible drunken half closed eyes photos. Follow the golden rule here and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Be kind with your tagging, or others may not be kind to you.

Don’t be a sad sack, it’s dull.

I know your leg hurts, I know you’re not feeling well. I get that you’re sad and life generally sucks. If that’s all you write about however, if you start everyday by writing a complaining status update, you’re in danger of becoming extremely boring. Talk to a friend, talk to a doctor, call your mum, stop whinging on Facebook.

Follow these simple rules and keep your facebooking a fun and entertaining experience. Be good to each other my friends.

The lesson is finished. Please remain seated until the bell rings.

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Is your job killing you?

 

I was doing my usual random wandering around the interweb when I found this list:

10 most depressing jobs
 
1. Personal Care and Service 10.8%
2. Food Preparation and Serving Related 10.3%
3. Community and Social Services 9.6%
4. Healthcare Practitioners and Technical 9.6%
5. Arts, Design, Entertainment, Sports, and Media 9.1%
6. Education, Training, and Library 8.7%
7. Office and Administrative Support 8.1%
8. Building and Grounds Cleaning and Maintenance 7.3%
9. Financial 6.7%
10. Sales and Related 6.7%

Interesting huh? In case you’re wondering, my job is part of the number one most depressing industry. I am a childcare worker. 

 It got me thinking, how much does your job actually affect your life and wellbeing? According to this article , a lot.  The article has  a study on jobs and stress that show how working in a job with high demands and low control —often found in lower-ranking, lower-paying jobs—is associated with an earlier death, and also with cardiovascular disease, mental health problems, sleep issues, and among other maladies.  people who work in jobs with low demands are also at risk if they have low control over their work. “If you spend your working life in a job that’s basically boring, you’re at risk of dying sooner,”  was a quote from a psychologist referenced in the article.

So control is the issue? Well unless you’re one of the lucky few working for themselves or for a boss who encourages  an autonomous work environment you’re screwed. Chronic stress weakens the immune system and makes it more difficult for us to fight off any bugs going around.  A quote from ezine articles  says “Stress has been listed as a contributing factor to every kind of illness imaginable, from the relatively benign complaints like the common cold or an occasional bout of insomnia to the deadly illnesses such as heart disease and cancer. Over $400 billion dollars a year is spent on stress related diseases.”

Stress, ew.  So let’s imagine, you’re super stressed. You wake up every morning with that familiar feeling of dread, the dread of another work day stretching out before you. You come home every evening feeling tired and grumpy and snap at everyone. When is it time to quit? Let’s find out.

1. You’ve burned too many bridges

Maybe you’ve pissed off your boss to the point that your relationship is unrepairable. Maybe you’ve got caught up in office politics and work is now filled with drama. Maybe you’ve earned yourself a bad reputation due to too many days off, or slacking on your work. Either way, you’ll probably find it easier in the long run to just cut your losses and move on.

2. You’re compromising more than you feel you should.

Your work likes things done one way, and one way only. If your views differ to their’s it can be hard to make the compromise to their way of thinking. This is of course part of any job, however, if you are compromising constantly, especially on issues that you consider important, or that conflict with your values or morals, you’re not going to be happy. If you’re not happy, you’re not going to do a good job. Move on.

3. You’re just not happy.

If you’re spending all of your time complaining to your friends and family about your work, chances are it’s time to find something new. Maybe you’ve been there too long, maybe the job just isn’t right for you. I don’t think we should settle for any old job just for the cash, if you’re really not happy you won’t last anyway.

So if you do decide to quit how do you find out what the right job for you is? Well if you want to go the frivolous online route you could do an online quiz. I went to this website and took the career personality test, my results for my ideal career were:

  • Actor
  • Recruitment Consultant
  • Politician
  • Marketing
  • Psychologist
  • Religious Minister
  • Teacher
  • Social Worker
  • Human Resources Manager
  • Sales
  • Lawyer
  • Advertising
  •  

    Well I would have to be a pretty good actor to pretend to be a religious minister. Take the quiz and let me know what you got!  The test has spit out a number of “ideal” careers that seem pretty freaking random and not much help. I guess not surprisingly the internet quiz based route to finding your perfect career may not be the best.

    I think that finding the right job for you may just be a matter of finding something that makes you happy, something that you can bear to do day after day, even if the rewards are more emotional than financial. Life is too short my friends to stay in a lame job.

    I hope you find what you’re looking for, me? I think I’ll apply to be a reality television show critic, or maybe a lawyer that specializes in religious law that teaches on the side and does their own marketing and hiring in between charity work, that’ll look good when I run for prime minister.

    Weird Things You Can Bet On. Let The Gambling Begin.

    I’m not a gambler by nature, but after winning $60 in the work pool for the world cup, I’m now a convert. I must gamble more! I’ve caught the gambling bug and I need another taste of that sweet victory nectar!

    The only problem is… I don’t care for sports, I really couldn’t care less which big hairy men kick the ball more than the other hairy men. I say give them both a ball so they stop wasting their time fighting over it and they can get a real job.

    So what then, can I gamble on? Let’s have a look what the internet has to offer a discerning gambler like myself:

    First up is Stiffs.com. As the incredibly tasteful name implies, this is a website for gambling on deaths, Not just any deaths however, Celebrity deaths. Everyone loves celebrities, we like hearing about their babies, we enjoy being shocked by their outrageous scandals, so it stands to reason we will enjoy betting on when they are going to die. Now the rules are simple,  select ten celebrities and rank them by how certain you are that they are going to die. They have to be a celebrity, if the Stiffs.com Fame Committee rule them “not famous enough” tough luck to you. This is a 12 month game, so generally, people are picking older and sicker celebrities (bless them.) The most important rule is, you can’t kill anyone to win, or make them sick, or scare them. Fair rule. So if you get lucky enough to guess correctly you win $3000! Sweet!  I don’t know if this is the game for me though, I’m easily driven to evil plots and I can just see myself sending Myley Cyrus poisonous snakes hidden in bunches of flowers to win the money, hell I’m already half way considering doing that and there’s no money at all involved. So what else do we have?

    If you’re like me and you’re a fan of reality television (don’t judge me, we’ve all got our secret shames) you can head on over to gamblerspalace.com and bet on such prestigious events as: “Who Will Win The Bachelorette?”  “Who Will Win Dance Your Ass Off?” and of course “Who Will Win Top Chef DC?” Important questions to be answered. Put your money where your mouth is, you think Latoya is going to dance the most off her ass? Prove it, don’t just talk the talk bitch. This is my kind of gambling, but lets not get to settled on anything yet. The internet is a weird and twisted place, I must further explore my options.

    If You’re more of a film buff than a reality tv show fan you can now make bets on the box office odds of movies opening the following weekend, check it out on bettersworld.com. I think this may not be ideal for me, as I get confused and over excited at the prospect of winning money on movies, if I’d known about this a few weeks ago I would probably have, over-thought it, giggled hysterically and bet $2000 on Marmaduke. It wouldn’t have been a wise bet.

    Are you more of an intellectual? Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Have I offended you with my low brow gambling antics? How about, just for you we take a gamble on a gentlemen’s game, Chess. Ah yes, something I could bring up at dinner parties to make myself seem more intelligent and credible, all available at Chessgames.com.

    So what will it be? What will I invest my precious money in? How about a mix of all of them? I bet that Myley Cyrus dies, while dancing her ass off, after winning a chess game against Viswanathan Anand and then the story is subsequently made into a high grossing film. Bam! That’s money in the bank baby!

    Wish me luck. Myley is going down.

    10 Strange Google Trends. What the Hell Is Wrong With Humanity?

    For those of you that are unaware, Google Trends is a feature on the Google website that shows how often a particular search-term is entered relative to the total search-volume across various regions of the world. I guess that this information can be useful for people who are wanting to launch a new product as it shows you which regions have googled each topic the most. Whatever the intended use of Google Trends, most people just use it to laugh at the wierd things people search for. I am no different. so, if you’re still confused by how the whole thing works. Let’s start with an easy one:

    Cute Babies VS  Cute Kittens

    As you can see, cute babies and Kittens have been neck and neck for years, with neither gaining any ground on the other, and then, all of a sudden… Bam! 2007, Those babies were like “Suck it cute kittens!”

    Let’s begin.

    Number one:

    Global Warming VS  American Idol

    Begin Your Patronising slow clapping. Well done humanity, talk about Nero fiddling while Rome burns, we’ll be singing along to Kelly Clarkson while the world overheats and explodes.

    Number Two:

    Chuck Norris VS  Boobs

    Of course, since Chuck Norris controls everything he most likely made this happen with his mind.

    Number Three:

    Ugly Children VS Ugly Babies

    No judgement here, see that peak in 2005? I was one of those people. I was bored, and man, there were some ugly kids out there.

    Number Four:

    Obama Antichrist VS Mccain Antichrist

    Wow, if this doesn’t put you off christianity, nothing will.

    Number Five:

    Granny Sex VS Sexy Women

    No comment. None whatsoever. I’m too stunned to give an opinion on this one.

    Number Six:

    Psychic Octopus

    It makes me really happy that we live in a world where Octopuses are relied upon to predict the outcome of football games.

    There is something strangely comforting in that.

    Number Seven:

    Revenge VS Forgive

    I’m with you blue, forgiveness is for wimps.

    Number Eight:

    What is a justin beiber?

    Hahahaha, Give that boy 3 more years and that’s all that will be left of him. A strange trend asking what he was.

    Number Nine:

    The end of the world

    Nope, it wasn’t in 2008 or 2009, I suspect we’ll just keep plodding along until our American Idol obsession kills us all.

    Number Ten:

    Am I stupid? VS Can I get pregnant from a dog?

    Yes you are, and no you can’t. God knows what kind of cross-eyed, mouth-breathing mongrel breed that would produce.